Protecting the children

19th November 2017


Divorce is usually the last thing on our minds when walking down the aisle and separation is certainly not something most of us imagine when children come along.  Unfortunately, when things do go wrong in a relationship, the last thing we want is for the children to suffer.  You may in fact have stayed in the relationship too long for the sake of the children.  So, when the relationship has come to an end, what can you do to make sure that the process is as smooth and have as little impact as possible on them?

Stability and Communication is key
Be consistent and reliable in when and how much time you spend with your child. Make sure they know you love them and that will not change. Give lots of reassurance and if they want to talk or ask questions, speak to them on a level they will understand.

Stay Positive
Adjusting to life in two separate households can be very difficult for children. You can help by focusing on positive activities with them that they enjoy, rather than fishing for details about their “other home” or dwelling on the divorce/separation.  Don’t let your children see you fight, and don’t use them as messengers to your ex.  Never speak badly about your ex to your children, this will only cause distress and will not benefit your relationship or your child’s well-being. Constant negativity is permanently disabling to your child.

An amicable divorce - Yes this is achievable!
Wondering what is best for your kids and how divorce will affect the children may be uppermost in your mind.  Navigating the optimal way to get them through the transition might feel like a constant struggle but by choosing the right solicitor for you can be a godsend.  A solicitor who mediates or takes a collaborative approach can decrease contentiousness and may speed up the divorce process which means that your children will be exposed to less acrimony and uncertainty and paves the way for a positive way forward for all involved.

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